Monday, August 21, 2006

ESPN last month fired analyst Harold Reynolds from Baseball Tonight, sources told FAUXRUMORS that the sudden firing came after they discovered he had a tirade with none other than Kevin Weekes at a popular Brooklyn Chinese eatery.
Our sources on the scene tell FAUXRUMORS that apparently Weekes is a big fan of the former ESPN baseball analyst, and when he saw him at the restaurant bar he offered to buy him a drink.
Reynolds graciously accepted as Weekes initially came off as a well spoken normal person. However that perception vanished soon after as Weekes continued to try to buy additional drinks for Harold.
With each offer Weekes would move a little closer to Reynolds. Finally, as he has apparently done with many a fellow hockey player, he reached out to fondle Mr. Reynolds's posterior. This apparently was the last straw for Harold. He immediately arose and sharply slapped Kevin's hand away from his buttocks.
From there things really got nasty. Weekes saw this not as a rejection but as a come-on, so he continued his routine of trying to caress Reynolds's hair, etc. Harold would have none of that, and began to verbally assault Weekes. Calling him a nasty fagot. Using several more anti gay epithets. Even going as far as saying he's more of a fagot than even fellow ESPN analyst Jay Marriotti.
It was hard for anyone in the establishment to miss this exchange. It ended with Reynolds storming out of the restaurant. Weekes calmly returned to his seat and resumed his previous activities as if this happens to him all the time. Which, if all our sources are correct, does daily. Stay tuned for the latest as it develops!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Breaking news that will interest both hockey and baseball fans alike. Last week when we here at FAUXRUMORS read about the Weekes-Reynolds altercation story we also came upon another potential block buster of a story that involved the gay NY back up, and a prominent baseball player.
At the time we didn't have sufficient information to go with the rumor, but as of late last night new sources have confirmed what we were told initially last Wednesday, Newest Yankee outfielder Bobby Abreu and Kevin Weekes have been romantically linked, our numerous sources tell us.
The oft moody, yet soft spoken Abreu, requested to be dealt to either NY team earlier this year. The romance supposedly began after the two met following a Ranger-Flyers game. The long distance affair had became difficult.
This is when Abreu began his lobbying to be closer to his 'soul mate' in NY. Being that he has a no trade clause in his mega contract Abreu held most of the cards on where he would land. We're told that none other than the bald skin flute eater himself was there to meet Abreu at NY's JFK upon his arrival.
No word as of yet if the pair intend to shack up or maintain separate residences, or if Abreu intends to ask for another trade if Weekes, as mentioned here many times, is inevitably traded before the next hockey season begins. As always, keep it here for the latest!

Monday, August 14, 2006

Weekes to the Blues? Word out of St. Louis is that former Ranger color man and new team president John Davidson is pushing Larry Pleau into acquiring Kevin Weekes. As of this posting the Blues back up goalie would be Curtis Sanford, not to be confused with Fred Sanford, or an NHL goalie.
Davidson is believed to think that Weekes would be a good and relatively cheap goaltending upgrade. Additionally the Blues marketing wants more dark skinned players to go along with Jamal Mayer's, so they can attract more Negroes to attend games. Anson Carter is also believed being wooed by Pleau for much the same reason.
No word what the Rangers would ask in return for the much maligned gay tender, or if his checkered past is actually known to Davidson. Though it would be difficult to believe that he didn't know that Weekes is a predator. Perhaps they also plan to bring in another gay player to temper Kevin's possible locker room outbursts. As always keep it here for the latest!

Friday, August 11, 2006

Weeks' story on big screen?? You laugh? It could and may well happen. A well placed source within Hollywood circles tells FAUXRUMORS this morning that there are infact some early preparations to tell the Kevin Weekes story in a full length motion picture.
Though still in the very early stages of development, there have already been some preliminary overtures made to some actors to play some of the more notable roles.
To play an adult Kevin Weekes, Cuba Gooding Jr. has been mentioned. Not only does he have a passing resemblance to Kevin, both being black and all, he's also a decent skater and has been known himself to eat a dick or 2 on occasion.
To play Kevin's frequently abusive father, another Jr, Academy Award winner Louis Gossett Jr with his West Indies accent would be perfect for the role.
Its not known how deeply the film will get into the more lurid details of Kevin's early sexual awakenings; From reports happened as a teen with an old coach. Later continuing with a dear friend/team mate who could be played by Eric McCormack of late of Will and Grace fame, who is also from Toronto.
There are many other details to be worked out in the coming months, but we are told that a large studio is very interested in the preliminary script, and a final deal could be announced before the end of the year. As always, stay tuned..
Stay tuned in upcoming days for revelations about the NHL's most 'out of the closet' goalie.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

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