ihateweekes

2006-10-16T12:28:00.000-07:00

SHAKY WEEKES MAKES TRADE MORE LIKELY?

1) Even before the game in Buffalo the Rangers were looking for any reason to rid themselves of Kevin Weekes. The number of reasons seems to grow by the day.
2) First it was for being a locker room distraction. Making lewd and unwanted comments/overtures toward unsuspecting rookies in the showers. His salary of 2 mil/year. Finally the fact that he just plain sucks.
3) The problem lies in the fact that every other GM in hockey has to know about all this as well. However, if Lou Lamarello can trade a retired player, why couldn't Sather find a way to trade a sucky, overpaid, gay back up goalie?
4) The number of potential suiters though is small. Perhaps JD in St.Louis will do his old employer 'a solid' and take on Weekes for the remainder of the season? Stay tuned. We're fairly certain things won't stay status quo much longer on Broadway

2006-10-09T06:37:00.000-07:00

WEEEKS RESPONSIBLE FOR YANKEE LOSS??

1) Don't laugh, it is VERY possible that Kevin Weekes unwittingly caused a significant locker room rift to develop that may have led to their unexpected down fall this past weekend.
2) Our sources close to the scene tell us that 2 weeks ago (when Kevin was on IR) his boy toy, Bobby Abreu invited him to The Stadium to take in a game. Before the game Kevin was spotted in the club house ogling several of the Yankees. Most oblivious to his licentious glances.
3) One player who DID take a notice was Alex Rodriguez. He caught the sight of the bald homosexual Ranger back up as he was putting on his pre game lip gloss and eye liner. From what we've been told, it must have been love at first site because he 2 were inseparable for at least 15 minutes until Abreu came out of the trainers room.
4) From there it got ugly. The usually calm soft speaking Abreu got very angry in seeing his lover being courted by his fellow gay teammate. Tempers flared, and not for Yankee trainer Gene Monahan being in the right place at the right time, there may well have been a HOMO-cide inside the Yankee locker room. Spaying both down with his Ethyl Chloride
5) As many can understand the remainder of their team mates were shocked at the near cat fight in their midst, and locker room morale, which wasn't too high to begin with, was shot, and the down fall soon commenced. No word if the A-Rod- Weekes potential romance has continued since this, but rest assures that we will stay on the case as it develops

2006-10-06T09:30:00.000-07:00

Kevin Wins Round One!

1) Anyone who turned on the first ranger's game last evening may have been a bit surprised to see Kevin Weekes name and face on their screen when players were announced. Most who follow this blog have been reading that Kevin would be shelved with a faux injury to get him off the active roster
2) As only this blog reported, Weekes threatened to go public and accuse the Ranger front office of racism if he wasn't immediately reinstated on the team. We're told that Sather and the Garden brass decided that this was a fight that they couldn't win, so they relented and placed Kevin on the active roster
3) No word yet on their proposed plan to shorten the bench so that the back up goalie has to sit in the player's run way (Much like the Igloo in Pittsburgh). Most teams have done the opposite to have all their players together, but the Rangers would prefer to have Weekes have as little contact with the team as is possible. The idea of placing a wall/plexiglass between the players and Weekes was scrapped when they saw it would look too obvious that he was being "segregated" from the rest of the team

2006-09-25T13:20:00.000-07:00

Its getting close to getting ugly in Ranger-land. Apparently Kevin Weekes isn't all too thrilled with his 'Injured Reserve' status. He knows very well why he was placed on the inactive list, and is close to coming right out and saying so.
Glen Sather was banking on Weekes being too intimidated to actually 'come out', and say why he believes he was erroneously placed on the IR.
What Glen doesn't know is that Weekes has another ace up his sleeve. Namely the race card. While there is no racism involved here, just the run of the mill homophobia(which in Kevin's case is justified) it won't stop Weekes from claiming just that if he isn't reinstated at some point before too long.
We're told it may come to a head(sort a speak) by early October. We're also told a demotion to Hartford would NOT bother Kevin as this would give him more time "to spend with the guys" on those long AHL bus rides.
As always, keep it here for the latest on the Weekes saga as it unfolds

2006-09-21T13:45:00.000-07:00

The truth behind Weekes' supposed 'groin injury' seems to be surpressed by the mainstream media covering the team. Almost to a man they know why weekes' is now 'sidelined indefinitly'. 'To be truthful', one source tells IHATEWEEKES they needed an excuse to get him the hell away from the younger players.
It seems Kevin resumed his predatory activity as soon as training camp began. Apparently approaching a number of the younger prospects. Usually nude in the shower offering to "lather them up".
One shaken player asked to be sent back to juniors as soon as they could. Its rumored he may even leave hockey all together.
Its not known how long the charade of this faux injury can continue, but if Sather doesn't get a trade, he may resort to hiring a hit man to really injure the gay goalie.
Stay tuned as this story develops

2006-09-20T06:42:00.000-07:00

Former New Jersey Governor, Jim McGreevey came out of the closet 2 years ago. Now he's touring with a new book detailing his 'secret life.' What does this have to do with our favourite goalie, Kevin Weekes?
Well, most importantly its the parallels in life styles. While Weekes is never mentioned in the book by name, they both apparently used some of the same tactics/hangouts to hook up with fellow fudge packers. Most notably the Jersey Turnpike rest stop parking lots.
From McGreevey's book, and from sources close to Weekes, both would 'cruise the scene,' and often hook up with one, sometimes multiple fruits at one of the northern Jersey turnpike rest stops.
Weekes' favourite was the Vince Lombardi stop, though he also was spotted on several occasions at the Thomas Edison stop as well.
It would be unlikely that the 2 never crossed paths. If we are given additional information we will be sure to send it on to our loyal readers.
In other news Kevin Weekes' contract status and life style has apparently soured most GM's to take him on, despite what Glen Sather would like. It is also possible the Rangers may send the gay goalie to Hartford to start the season, hoping that someone would claim him on his demotion wavers.

2006-08-21T14:25:00.000-07:00

ESPN last month fired analyst Harold Reynolds from Baseball Tonight, sources told FAUXRUMORS that the sudden firing came after they discovered he had a tirade with none other than Kevin Weekes at a popular Brooklyn Chinese eatery.
Our sources on the scene tell FAUXRUMORS that apparently Weekes is a big fan of the former ESPN baseball analyst, and when he saw him at the restaurant bar he offered to buy him a drink.
Reynolds graciously accepted as Weekes initially came off as a well spoken normal person. However that perception vanished soon after as Weekes continued to try to buy additional drinks for Harold.
With each offer Weekes would move a little closer to Reynolds. Finally, as he has apparently done with many a fellow hockey player, he reached out to fondle Mr. Reynolds's posterior. This apparently was the last straw for Harold. He immediately arose and sharply slapped Kevin's hand away from his buttocks.
From there things really got nasty. Weekes saw this not as a rejection but as a come-on, so he continued his routine of trying to caress Reynolds's hair, etc. Harold would have none of that, and began to verbally assault Weekes. Calling him a nasty fagot. Using several more anti gay epithets. Even going as far as saying he's more of a fagot than even fellow ESPN analyst Jay Marriotti.
It was hard for anyone in the establishment to miss this exchange. It ended with Reynolds storming out of the restaurant. Weekes calmly returned to his seat and resumed his previous activities as if this happens to him all the time. Which, if all our sources are correct, does daily. Stay tuned for the latest as it develops!

2006-08-17T07:29:00.000-07:00

Breaking news that will interest both hockey and baseball fans alike. Last week when we here at FAUXRUMORS read about the Weekes-Reynolds altercation story we also came upon another potential block buster of a story that involved the gay NY back up, and a prominent baseball player.
At the time we didn't have sufficient information to go with the rumor, but as of late last night new sources have confirmed what we were told initially last Wednesday, Newest Yankee outfielder Bobby Abreu and Kevin Weekes have been romantically linked, our numerous sources tell us.
The oft moody, yet soft spoken Abreu, requested to be dealt to either NY team earlier this year. The romance supposedly began after the two met following a Ranger-Flyers game. The long distance affair had became difficult.
This is when Abreu began his lobbying to be closer to his 'soul mate' in NY. Being that he has a no trade clause in his mega contract Abreu held most of the cards on where he would land. We're told that none other than the bald skin flute eater himself was there to meet Abreu at NY's JFK upon his arrival.
No word as of yet if the pair intend to shack up or maintain separate residences, or if Abreu intends to ask for another trade if Weekes, as mentioned here many times, is inevitably traded before the next hockey season begins. As always, keep it here for the latest!

2006-08-14T06:40:00.000-07:00

Weekes to the Blues? Word out of St. Louis is that former Ranger color man and new team president John Davidson is pushing Larry Pleau into acquiring Kevin Weekes. As of this posting the Blues back up goalie would be Curtis Sanford, not to be confused with Fred Sanford, or an NHL goalie.
Davidson is believed to think that Weekes would be a good and relatively cheap goaltending upgrade. Additionally the Blues marketing wants more dark skinned players to go along with Jamal Mayer's, so they can attract more Negroes to attend games. Anson Carter is also believed being wooed by Pleau for much the same reason.
No word what the Rangers would ask in return for the much maligned gay tender, or if his checkered past is actually known to Davidson. Though it would be difficult to believe that he didn't know that Weekes is a predator. Perhaps they also plan to bring in another gay player to temper Kevin's possible locker room outbursts. As always keep it here for the latest!

2006-08-11T18:04:00.000-07:00

Weeks' story on big screen?? You laugh? It could and may well happen. A well placed source within Hollywood circles tells FAUXRUMORS this morning that there are infact some early preparations to tell the Kevin Weekes story in a full length motion picture.
Though still in the very early stages of development, there have already been some preliminary overtures made to some actors to play some of the more notable roles.
To play an adult Kevin Weekes, Cuba Gooding Jr. has been mentioned. Not only does he have a passing resemblance to Kevin, both being black and all, he's also a decent skater and has been known himself to eat a dick or 2 on occasion.
To play Kevin's frequently abusive father, another Jr, Academy Award winner Louis Gossett Jr with his West Indies accent would be perfect for the role.
Its not known how deeply the film will get into the more lurid details of Kevin's early sexual awakenings; From reports happened as a teen with an old coach. Later continuing with a dear friend/team mate who could be played by Eric McCormack of late of Will and Grace fame, who is also from Toronto.
There are many other details to be worked out in the coming months, but we are told that a large studio is very interested in the preliminary script, and a final deal could be announced before the end of the year. As always, stay tuned..

2006-08-11T09:51:00.000-07:00

Stay tuned in upcoming days for revelations about the NHL's most 'out of the closet' goalie.

2006-08-10T12:22:00.000-07:00

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